Catholics and NFL Teams

Ok, so although I don't agree 100% with their ultimate conclusion... the The American Catholic  has posted a rather humorous exploration of all the NFL teams, and gives their thoughts and reasons as to where Catholics should place their rooting effort.

Here are a few excerpts:

Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens got their name from an Edgar Allen Poe poem. While passing over the sissy nature of poetry for the moment, the poem reportedly revels in the repetition of the word “Nevermore.” This is merely a promotion of hopelessness, which the Holy Father has warned us seriously against and must be rejected.

Indianapolis Colts: The symbol of the Colts is a horseshoe. This is a common trinket among the superstitious. As superstition is merely another form of paganism, it must be rejected by Catholics.

San Diego Chargers: To name your team after something that simply replenishes your battery power for laptops or phones suggests either an over-emphasis on technology that or an embrace of lameness. Seriously, who wants to plug in their phone and think “that’s the name of my football team.” Catholics are not lame and therefore not Chargers fans.

Detroit Lions: While I don’t think anyone still lives in Detroit, Lion eat Christians. That’s what they did in Rome, and that’s what they do to Catholics unwary enough to slip into their trap.

Hehe... kinda funny right?

TMZ: Cathy: "All your brain are belong to us."

Found this pic floating on TMZ.com.

It is true. Cathy can control our brains to make us behave like Terry, SwissMiss, possibly even Poprah Poprah?

Will it work on Belinda's Brain?

Vincenzo... bring all the cell-phone guns you can find and hurry!

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What? It's friday.

Edit: Don't know why I said I found this on TMZ. I don't read TMZ. It doesn't fit into this satire in anyway. It isn't an inside joke. I thought maybe it would give "credibility" to my story. I am a liar, and for that I am truly sorry.

Re-Edit: "All your brain are belong to us." Is a weird internet/90's meme reference. This might help. It was a non-sequitor as well. Blogging is hard.

Copy-cat

I know my posts have been odd lately, maybe even a little cryptic. I wondered why, and blamed it on Adoration. I did a LOT of praying and contemplating there last night.

Some could even say I have changed my blogging style as of late.

It seems some of my posts have been of a different flavor. I was quite unhappy with my posting lately.

I felt as if my posts weren't really news, weren't really reflections or devotional, but were more random news-bitlets and rants. Nothing very exciting to read or spiritually productive. Although, occasionally I would put something in there more worthwhile to read.

So I prayed and decided to get back to my roots, rekindle that flame of passion and get back to being a spiritual warrior. Therein is the genesis of my style change. Maybe I am channeling Terry of Abbey Roads. What is even more possible is that Terry has a mind control device, as it seems I am not the only one that feels Terry running through my veins.

I guess that isn't a bad thing. I would just like to know where he got such a device? Could it really exist? Maybe it is Cathy, she could be controlling us all? Don't believe me...Amentior?

Alaskan Catholic Humor

Don't mess around in Bethel:

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up, baldhead," they shouted, "go up, baldhead!"

The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the children to pieces.

II Kings 2:23-24

Could it be?

Looking at my stats this morning this is what I found:

Could it be?? This is a little intimidating really...

BTW - Thanks Mac, "THEY" found me via Mulier Fortis

Kitchen Stewardship in the Big Woods: E-Camping Book

For those that like food... I have listed Kitchen Stewardship in the sidebar. It is a GREAT website that my wife uses to make lots of yummy-ness. Also, Katie is a Michigan Catholic Mom, so her blog is deserved of being listed. [I should probably make a Michigan section on the side shouldnt I?] The site is much  more than a blog, and has a lot of great cooking, health, and family resources on it.

That being said, Katie has published an E-Book of sorts about Family Camping. It is called:

Kitchen Stewardship in the Big Woods: A Family Camping Handbook

My wife had the pleasure of being one of the reader-editors of the drafts, and even got herself on the blogpost with a quote. She let me know this by saying, "I am famous, I made it onto the interwebs!" Which delighted me to no end. What is sad is that more people will read what my wife said, than will read what I say, since Kitchen Stewardship's readership is about 10x what we have over here.

The book is well done. My wife and I are pretty experienced campers, and living in Alaska makes the camping we do here a little more "rugged or extreme" than what MOST families will do. So we decided to use the things in the book over the 4th, just to "test" them out. I was pretty impressed. I think that the book is really good for beginning and intermediate camping families. At $5, you really can't go wrong. There is a nice group of printable checklists, and other resources in the book, that make it a handy little "tool."

You should get this book if you are new to camping, new to camping with kids, or just want to help support a Catholic mom, that gives a lot of her time and talent to the greater Catholic Blogging community. [Yeah, I know I am a little sappy today]

So go check it out! You can buy it below... or click to the KS website.

Kitchen Stewardship in the Big Woods
A Family Camping Handbook with

Real Food Options

by Katie Kimball
48 pages
$4.95

Happy Birthday LarryD!

Sr. Patricia Owens O'Flannery reminded me that today is LarryD's Birthday! So please make sure you click on over to Acts of the Apostasy and give him a birthday visit bump and comment him a birthday wish.

Wish LarryD a Happy Birthday

Also if you aren't doing anything they are having a little birthday shindig over at the local parish, I caught this sign and wonder where my personal invite is:

Need: Real Life Tron Light Cycle

For those of us that grew up fans of Tron; either the video game or the movie, this item is a "NEED" and not a "WANT."

•°·Link: Ebay Auction - Tron Light Cycle

St. Michael Warrior Award to: 'Rebecca aka The Mom'

You know that saying: "The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword"... well I have found a prime example of that. Rebecca, better know as: aka the Mom, had one of those moments that warriors LONG for. Those of you that seek confrontation will understand this... especially those of you who work VERY hard at restraining yourself and being charitable in most situations, even if it goes against your will and desire.

aka the Mom was faced with one of those situations where her principles, morals, and dignity were tested by fire. She had two choices... one path required truth, honor, loyalty... the other only required submission, acceptance, and comfort. The first path required her to face fear, confrontation, scorn, mocking and ridicule. The other meant safety, politeness, and ease.

She chose the former. Not because it was confrontational... but because it was right. She wrote about it on her blog... not to brag, but to make a point: There's an Irony There

Here is an excerpt:

"I love when the homeschoolers come in here." She said in a mock whisper to her co-worker. "We get to see the look on their faces as they discover that teaching kids is hard and you have to be smarter than they thought."

With jokes about my lack of intelligence still carrying across the open space, I set about answering the question of why my child hadn't gotten the chicken pox vaccine. It didn't help that I had a space one line long. How do I reduce my faith, politics and health philosophies into one line? I finally settled on "The varicella vaccine is cultured in fetal tissue. As a Catholic, we can not materially cooperate in any way with the intentional destruction of human life."

~~~

It was then that the loud-mouth from next door came in waving the objector form. "You need to re-write this," she demanded... Go to: "Shoved to Them" - to read the rest

Defend Us In Battle

To all those that read this, and the account above: THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT BY ADMINISTRATIVE ORDER, 1 JULY 2010, DEFEND US IN BATTLE HAS AWARDED

THE SAINT MICHAEL WARRIOR AWARD

TO:  REBECCA 'aka The Mom'

FOR EXCEPTIONALLY VALOROUS ACTION IN THE FACE OF OVERWHELMING ODDS AND DIRECT HOSTILE AGGRESSIONS AS THE MOTHER FOR A CHILD IN NEED OF SPECIAL EDUCATION. aka THE MOM'S EXCEPTIONAL COURAGE, DEDICATION TO CHILDREN, AND ADHERENCE TO TRUTH AND HONOR DIRECTLY CONTRIBUTED TO THE SUCCESSFUL DEFENSE OF HER FAMILY'S PRINCIPLES AND MORALS. HER REMARKABLE PERFORMANCE AND INTELLECTUAL PROWESS IN THE MIDST OF ATTACK UNDOUBTEDLY PRESERVED THE EVERLASTING SOULS OF HER FAMILY, HERSELF AND REFLECTS THE HIGHEST STANDARDS OF CATHOLIC FAITH AND TRADITION. aka THE MOM'S ACTIONS WHILE ENGAGED IN COMBAT OPERATIONS DURING THE BATTLE AGAINST EVIL REFLECT GREAT CREDIT UPON HER, THE CATHOLIC BLOGOSPHERE AND THE ONE TRUE CHURCH.

GIVEN UNDER MY HAND IN THE CATHOLIC BLOGOSPHERE

THIS 1st DAY OF JULY, 2010

-Joe, Defend Us In Battle

Thanks to Anna Chapman, there goes that idea...

I went to law school with the idea/plan of possibly working in some of federal law enforcement position. In my mind that meant the FBI or CIA, they were the "ultimate dream." Since graduation, I have come to grips with some facts, mainly that I did not go to a Top Tier (ie Ive League) college or law school...and  I really don't have any unique skills. No foreign language, no amazing physical attributes, and definitely no "inside connections." I realize that my "goals" have transformed into more of a "dream" or even "fantasy," meaning... it isn't going to happen! Yet I still held on to a faint glimmer of hope, that I would be sitting in my office one day, receive a package from some random guy in a non-descript delivery uniform, containing a "secured phone." It would ring, and I would be thrust into the world of international espionage...

Well there goes that idea...

After today, I think the nails have hit the coffin. With the arrest of 10 "spies" this week from Russia, the whole espionage world has been throw into the limelight. That being said, one of the more "glamorous" aspects of it... made famous by James Bond has been brought front and center in a sensationalized way:

The Femme Fatale - Case in point: Anna Chapman.

(Source: NY Post)

Add to her sultry-new york socialite-james bond spy looks a twist of a Russian accent, and there is NO WAY my wife is going to let me become a spy...

Even if she DID allow me to do it, under the aforementioned scenario, the position would last about one day due to the first conversation we would have about my job at dinner: [What I ACTUALLY would say is in Blue, What my wife would HEAR in her mind is in RED]

Wife: "What did you do today?"

Me: "Oh, not much, the usual, had lunch with a lady at work. Tried to trick her into divulging where the next transfer of information is going to happen." [Had a nice little date at a restaurant that I would never take you to, where I gazed into her communist eyes adoringly.]

Wife: "Oh that's nice, who is she?"

Me: "Just some mean ole' Russian Spy-Lady." [Just some beautiful Russian model turned spy.]

Wife: "Does she have a sultry Russian accent?"

Me: "uh...no?" [Of course she has a Russian accent, she is Russian, and Tchaikovsky plays in the background while she speaks.]

Wife: "Riiight.... is she pretty?"

Me: "She isn't un-attractive, but they INTENTIONALLY pick beautiful women for these jobs." [She is gorgeous, why do you think I took this job, it is actually listed as a BENEFIT on the job description.]

Wife: "What did you talk about?"

Me: "Guns, Missiles, and Jets?" [Guns, Missiles, and Jets - oh and then we had ice cream because she said she needed to gain a few pounds to help her fit into her new Prada baithing suit.]

Wife: "You are quitting."

...so I guess it is back to the drawing board.

Maybe this can be a bargaining chip to let me go get a Canon Law Degree?

Not Sacred...or Divine... just, UGLY.

There are those that say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Well, I believe that there should always be some intrinsic aesthetic value to "art"; Religious art should most definitely have such an intrinsic value.

Quite a few blogs such as: WDTPRS? and Sancte Pater have posted a picture from a foreign website Fides et Forma of a church called Santa Monica. It looks like this:

Now Father Z, and Vincenzo say that the church, from its profile looks a lot like a Sandcrawler from Star Wars. 

Personally, I think it looks more like an Everlasting Gobstopper from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Regardless... it doesn't look like a Church.

Timeless Tuesday: Wiffle Ball

Sorry I forgot last week...

This week we have a great game... that few kids actually play anymore. The game has been "taken over" by college-kids who take the game to almost insane "levels." Case in point: Wiffle Stadium Video, Golden Stick Tourney Action Video, Wicked Pitching

But in reality it should be a game for anyone and everyone...

So that's where all the bears are...

I haven't really updated you all on my bear hunting quest/adventure with Dan from GLACC. Anyways... we have been out for the past two weeks setting up our baiting area hoping that we can draw something in. Well... a few sicknesses and escapades later... we finally got out there a few times and saw nothing.

Well, Badger Catholic has made a post that let me realize where all the bears are:

Springbrook, WI: A family that lives on the outskirts of Hayward, Wisconsin decided to build a sturdy, colorful playground for their 3- and 4-year-old sons. They lined the bottom with smooth-stone gravel all around to avoid knee scrapes and other injuries. They finished building it one Friday evening and were very pleased with the end product.


The following morning, the mom was about to wake the boys up and have them go out to play in their new play center. This is what she saw from the upstairs window

So Dan, here is our new hunting strategy:

1. 
   
   Donuts and Dog Food - OUT
2. 
   
   Playground for Bears - IN

Battle Cry...

Setting:

This scene is the final battle in the war. You awake in the morning gathered in a group... prepared to listen to your humble and reluctant leader...

Scene:

Cool brisk morning... smoke can be smelled in the air, distant yells and cries can be heard.

It is cloudy, but the sky is blue. It appears to have rained in the night, but the day looks to be sunny and bright... but the clouds must be burned off first. You huddle around to listen... to take instruction... to find out your orders.

Joe:

In all honesty.... I don't care about the Cannonball Catholic Awards.  We didn't come here to win awards, seeks fame or glory... we didn't come here to be immortalized in bronze. Those men ::points to Cleansing Fire:: EVERYTHING THEY DO IS FOR FAME AND GLORY! They would trade their souls... only to have their bodies immortalized in BRONZE AND GOLD! Their worth is based on the metal in which they cast the awards they so lustfully seek...

Us? We are worth nothing... except to those that follow us. Our words and our values are our gold. We fight not for gold, awards, or fame. But for GOD, TRUTH, JUSTICE, and HONOR! I could stand here and tell you to fight for yourselves, truth, honor, or even God.... but it wouldn't do a bit of good simply to say it. So I will show you what I am going to do... and simply ask that you follow.

I don't lead because I want to... but I lead because I have been asked.

I take the role honorably, and know that I lead not because of my own ability... but through the grace of God.

I fight vote everyday... for this blog and for others! I know that every vote counts. Just like a house, where every nail and board count, my vote stacks upon others to create a much larger structure. Yet... no vote is useless or redundant.

Some may say that we cannot win... and they are wrong. I would not ask you to help, if I did not think that we could win. It is possible that we don't - but that is why we fight... just as the other side does...

So let us do what we can... as a testament to what we believe in and what we stand for. We will fight vote until it is over... and we will stand proudly upon our actions and our cause. Their fire may be burning brightly... but if we move quickly and fiercly we can still put out their flames!!!

They want to Cleanse us in their fire... burn us with their desire of glory.

They attack with sharp tongues and throngs of followers.

We... we are small, but mighty. We have something they don't...

We have those who are willing to fight... and when the battle is fiercest... we have those that will not shy from

the flames or hide from the struggle... instead they pick themselves up off of the ground...

AND

DEFEND US IN BATTLE!!!!!!

Scene:

Crowd cheers... camera pans to battlefield... music starts to play.

Setting:

You are inspired by this speech... and you know that if nothing else you will vote... and vote often!

 

Vote HERE!

Defend Us In Battle!

Miracle on blogs!

Do you believe in Miracles? If so... this blog needs one!

We are over 40 votes behind in the "Best New Kid on the Block" Category of the 2010 Cannonball Catholic Awards. [You can vote once a day, and it isn't cheating... did you know that? So remember to vote everyday!]

So click below... and let's stomp out that pesky "Cleansing Fire" that is burning in 1st place... and send them down to some REAL cleansing fire!

Best New Kid on the Block -Blog Defend Us In Battle    pollcode.com free polls

http://poll.pollcode.com/dTKy

Also don't forget to vote for some other great blogs:

• Nod at Wynken, Blynken, and Nod, Best Potpourri of Popery
• Aka The Mom's, Shoved to Them for Best Under Appreciated
• LarryD at Acts of the Apostasy for Best Hifreakinglarious Church Militant, Snarkiest, Bat Guano Crazy
• Dan from Gun Lovin' Alaskan Catholic Club for Needs to Update Blog More Often.
• Snup from A View from the Back Pew for Best Visual Treat

VOTE FOR US!!

As many of you know the 4th Annual Cannonball Catholic Awards are currently underway. They are probably the least MOST IMPORTANT awards in existence to honor the Cathol-og-osphere. We were nominated for awards (Click on Category for EASY VOTING):

Best New Kid On the Block

&

Best Underappreciated Blog

Please be sure to head over to The Crescat and vote for us! We need all the help we can get!


***UPDATE***
P.S.:
I approve voting for the following blogs as well:
Religious:
Fr. Acervo's Corner
Armchair Theologian:
Adoro Te Devote
Most Under-Appreciated:
Shoved to Them
Most BatCraptastic Crazy & Church Militant & Hilfrickanlarious & Snarkiest:
Acts of the Apostasy
Visual Treat:
View from the Back Pew
Potpurri of Popery:
W-B-N
Needs more Updating:
Gun Loving Alaskan Club

Star Wars (Original Trilogy) in 2:13

If you have always wanted an easy, quick, and interesting way to explain the magnificince of Star Wars to someone, but didn't know how, these folks have taken a crack at it:

Star Wars in 2:13


Sorry for the lame post, I am not feeling well. Which explains why the posting has been even less exciting than normal over the past few days.

Appeasement.

Saw this on Happy Catholic and had to post it:

An appeaser is one who feeds the crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

                                                                         -Winston Churchill

Makes me wonder what is to become of all the progressive-modernists appeasers in our Parishes and the Church...

Get Ready...

The Crescat has closed the nominations for the 4th Annual Cannonball Catholic Awards. That means that VOTING will begin soon!

Your local blog: Defend Us In Battle is nominated in the following categories:

• Best New Kid On the Block (Awarded to the best new Catholic Blog - What is new... not sure... but I haven't been around that long)
• Best Under Appreciated Blog (Not sure if ANY appreciation is necessary for a nomination in this category... good thing)
• More Catholic Than the Pope (Ummm...... not sure why I got a nod here... but I will take what I can get; as long as what I get isn't EXCOMMUNICATION!)

I will let you know when voting begins... and remember to vote early, vote often, and vote:

"DEFEND US IN BATTLE!"

Does this mean Hell *CAN* Freeze over?

Sword-Tip to Laudator via Father Z:

H. Allen Smith, "The Achievement of H.T. Wensel," in Clifton Fadiman, ed., The Mathematical Magpie (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1962), pp. 141-142 (at 142):

The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed, but it must be less than 444.6° C., the temperature at which brimstone or sulphur changes from a liquid to a gas. Revelations [sic] 21:8: "But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be below the boiling point, which is 444.6° C. If it were above this point it would be a vapor and not a lake.

As the article points out, hell (below 445° C. = 833° F.) is actually cooler than heaven (525° C. = 977° F., computed from Isaiah 30:26).

My world is upside down. Also... I am no Math wizard, so I have no idea how he got 977 F from this:

And the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days: in the day when the Lord shall bind up the wound of his people, and shall heal the stroke of their wound.

I am guessing he multiplied something by 7? But when you divide 977 by 7, you get 139.6. Maybe the math is slightly different in Celsius. Because the hottest recorded temp I found was 136.