All wars are fought in individual battles...

I did something very difficult today. I passed on an opportunity that presented itself to me. One that is, or maybe was, a dream of mine. I am not 100% sure why I did it... and I don't even know if it was the right decision.

I turned down the opportunity at a job today. It wasn't an offer per se but it was a pretty good opportunity at one. It has to do with this whole War waging in our country regarding our government, health care, and the culture of death. In fact, some are calling it a Crusade. (See: A New Crusade ) I don't feel "at peace" about making this decision like you would imagine a person would be after making a big decision about something. In fact, I felt quite unsettled.

You see, I prayed the St. Joseph Novena - that ended on Friday, St. Joseph's Day. Then, that very night I received an email about an opportunity, political in nature, someone looking to bring someone on to help them fight this war, this crusade if you will. To be honest... this was a dream of mine. A high level campaign job, for a high ranking office, the opportunity at defending freedom, morals, and maybe eventually a job with an elected representative. This dream started years ago though, in college, when I was a little younger, single, and didn't have a family. But I figured it was still there, within reach, and heck God presented it to me on St. Joseph's DAY! Patron Saint of workers, the Saint I was named after - it seemed as if the stars were aligned perfectly.

So I knew the opportunity was out there, and I knew I was being suggested as someone who could fulfill this role. So I prayed. ::SILENCE:: That is all I heard. I prayed at Mass, I prayed after Mass, I prayed before bed. ::SILENCE:: Then I woke up this morning.... ::HEADACHE:: So I got in the shower, a place where I pray quite well, and still nothing. I looked at my phone and I had a voicemail. I knew it was coming. So I listened and called the person back. All I could say was, "I am sorry, but I dont think I am the right person for this."

I talked to the people that I trust the most in my life. My mom, Brian, and of course my wife. They all said very different things, but conveyed the same message. My mom gave me advice that I expected. She told me that my allegiance to my current position in life and my family obviously put on my heart that this opportunity wasn't right for me. I figured it was just her being nice, that she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. Then there was Brian.

Brian tried really hard to make me see that I made the "right" decision. He knows how important that is to me, but everytime he would say something to explain that to me, I would say, "but..." and his argument would crumble beneath itself. He couldn't construct an argument, that would withstand one of my attacks, as to how I obviously made the decision that was ultimately what God wanted. I figured that he too was just trying to make me feel better. He tried to explain that maybe this war wasn't going to change with my decision, maybe it was bigger than me, and this opportunity. It reminded me something my dad would say.

Then I talked to my wife. She gave me the, "I would be happy with any decision you make." Most men would kill for this. A wife that is willing to uproot her life at the mere whim of her husbands desires and pursuits. She too tried to figure out a way to convince me that I made the "right" decision. She talked about my heart, my desire for my family, my desire for her, and all the happiness that I was pursuing was really God focused and it just didn't include this opportunity. Again, I thought she was just being "nice." I still came away feeling as if I maybe made the wrong decision.

I didn't understand why God wasn't "speaking" to me, why he wasn't directing me, leading me, or at least counseling me in my decision making. I mean, every blog, news site, and even facebook post seemed to be about this issue, this fight, this WAR. Who better than someone like me, to take up my sword, and charge in ready to fight! I mean, for crying out loud how often do I post about the need for men to be brave and strong and to stand up and fight for what is right?! Where would my bravery be if I slinked away from this opportunity, obviously presented to me by God, on St. Joseph's day if I shurgged it aside becasue I was worried about a few little things like time with my wife and daughter, the happiness of some family and friends, and the simple pleasures we have recently found? What a hypocrite I would be! Right?

Then it hit me.

We spent an unexpected afternoon yesterday with new friends. In fact we had just met all of these people at church yesterday. One of their sons was being baptized and I went up to them to congratulate them and to introduce myself to Dan from Gun Lovin' Alaskan Catholic Club, who was the God-father. This family then invited us over to their house for the baptism gathering, and we went. It was such a nice time with young Catholic families who were such a model of inspiration to us.

That afternoon wasn't by chance or coincidence. God placed us there to learn and experience something. Something about family. My mom, Brian, and my wife weren't just telling me things that they thought or felt. They had all prayed and were speaking from their heart. My decision likewise came from the heart. It was made in the best possible way that it could be... through prayer, contemplation, and the heart and mind joining forces. I realized that sometimes battles are won or lost not on the strongest or bravest fighter, nor are they always won by the smartest tactician or strategist. Sometimes battles are won by choosing to fight another day. And the war... well the war isn't won solely on the outcome of one battle. In fact, wars are broken up into individual battles that combine to create a war. 

I know I haven't gone into many specifics... but what I learned today is that life is bigger than just us. Even our own lives are bigger than our own self. I learned something about myself today and about life as husband and father. Life isn't ours. Our life belongs to God. I made a decision that went against what *I* wanted. I passed on a dream opportunity for the sake of trying to do the best thing for my family. It didn't feel *good* instantly because we are such creatures of ourselves. We are blinded by the *self*. I couldn't even hear the words those closest to me were saying in an effort to console and comfort me. I was blinded by the *self*.

The war against evil wages on. My battle was not the tipping point. But by choosing to not rush into the war today, I may have won my battle and live to fight another day. See, I learned that to win the war we have to know which battles to fight in. We have to pick and choose based on more than our own desires.

As I stated at the outset of this long post, I prayed the St. Joseph Novena asking for help to discern my vocation as a husband, father, and my employment vocation as a Juris Doctor. What I learned today is that the husband part comes first. Then the father part. Then the career part. Saint Joseph first had to worry about Mary. As we know, he could have ran off, saved himself scandal, and kept his reputation and life nice and secure. But he was a devout husband who thought of Mary first. He could have also said that he wasn't ready to be the earthly father figure to Jesus, the Son of God. He could have run away from that role to pursue his desires and dreams... but my how the story would have changed. He could have pursued his life, his goals, and his career and life ambitions first. He chose not to. He chose others. He laid down his life... for those of his wife, and "step"-Son.

I learned that doing that isn't easy. And that "uneasy" feeling inside me? It was doubt, despair, and fear. We all know where those come from. God doesn't put those things in our heart... the Devil does. So I guess I didn't get a job from my Novena, yet, but I did get the clarity of heart to know how I will make the decision about one when the time comes. I know at the very least that I have learned to focus on the right things and the right people when making the decision. I have learned that all wars are fought in individual battles, and when the time comes hopefully I will be ready to fight in my battle. Until then... I guess today I chose to fight another day.

Saint Joseph ~ Ora Pro Nobis

Today is my Name Day, or Feast Day!! Pretty exciting stuff. Actually, my wife and I have decided we are going to make this a custom in our household. Not because we want to be european but because our names are meaningful, and we named our daughter for a very distinct reason, choosing a Saint's name on purpose. Therefore, the feast day of that Saint should be important not only for the purpose of honoring the Saint, but honoring our Catholic heritage and faith.

With today being St. Joseph's Day it is special to me for a lot of reasons. One, it is my first St. Joseph's Day, who is the father of the Universal Church, as a father. Second, I just finished the St. Joseph Novena, along with several others including Brian - co-author of the blog, to better discern and realize my vocation as a husband, father, and worker. Thirdly, the name Joseph is also that of our Pope. He always needs our prayers and it seems now more than ever and therefore this unity through names allows me to unify my prayer and my thought on several people, several intentions, and in several ways.

For those wanting more info about St. Joseph and the various things that occur today here are some links:

Saint Joseph Info - Catholic.org

St. Joseph Novena

St. Joseph Novena - EWTN

St. Joseph's Day Traditions

One of my most treasured memories about my Feast Day was my grandmother telling me about the Swallows at the Mission of San Juan Capistrano. For those that don't know about that here is a version:

The miracle of the "Swallows" of Capistrano takes place each year at the Mission San Juan Capistano, on March 19th, St. Joseph's Day.

As the little birds wing their way back to the most famous Mission in California, the village of San Juan Capistrano takes on a fiesta air and the visitors from all parts of the world, and all walks of life, gather in great numbers to witness the "miracle" of the return of the swallows.

Each year the "Scout Swallows" precede the main flock by a few days and it seems to be their chief duty to clear the way for the main flock to arrive at the "Old Mission" of Capistrano.

With the arrival of early dawn on St. Joseph's Day, the little birds begin to arrive and begin rebuilding their mud nests, which are clinging to the ruins of the old stone church of San Juan Capistrano. The arches of the two story, high vaulted Chapel were left bare and exposed, as the roof collapsed during the earthquake of 1812.

This Chapel, said to be the largest and most ornate in any of the missions, now has a more humble destiny--that of housing the birds that St. Francis loved so well.

After the summer spent within the sheltered walls of the Old Mission in San Juan Capistrano, the swallows take flight again, and on the Day of San Juan, October 23, they leave after circling the Mission bidding farewell to the "JEWEL OF ALL MISSIONS" San Juan Capistrano, California.

I would be remiss if I didn't at least list one St. Joseph Prayer. I know that you are probably overwhelmed with St. Joseph material today, but we can never have too much can we? Plus as my namesake, I think it is appropriate:

Oh, St. Joseph, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the throne of God. I place in you all my interests and desires. Oh, St. Joseph, do assist me by your powerful intercession, and obtain for me from your devine Son all spiritual blessings, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. So that, having engaged here below your heavenly power, I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most loving of Fathers.

Oh, St. Joseph, I never weary of contemplating you, and Jesus asleep in your arms; I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press Him in my name and kiss His fine head for me and ask him to return the Kiss when I draw my dying breath. St. Joseph, Patron of departing souls - Pray for me.

-Posted by: Joe

Solemnity of St. Joseph = Meat

For those that don't know... abstinence is not required tomorrow, on St. Joseph's Day. So you can have meat; a cheeseburger, a steak, or fish... if you still want fish. Don't believe me? Ask Canon Lawyer Dr. Ed Peters. He explains it over at his blog: In Light of the Law

That the general law of abstinence from meat on Fridays (c. 1251) does not bind on "solemnities" (like the Solemnity of St. Joseph, per c. 1246.1 and the Gen. Norms for the Lit. Year and Calendar) is so obvious that few commentaries bother to say "If the Solemnity of St. Joseph falls on a Friday, even in Lent, one need not abstain from meat." Nevertheless, the exemption from abstinence on solemnities is patent, and one need not bother pastors or bishops for a dispensation before enjoying a pepperoni pizza this Friday. Nuf said.

So... if you really want to, YES YOU CAN EAT MEAT on Saint Joseph's Day.

-Posted by: Joe

St. Joseph Novena - March 10 - March 19

Today is 9 days before the feast of St. Joseph. Therefore it is the day to start a St. Joseph Novena if you plan on doing one. As is traditional with most Novenas, the day to start one is 9 days before the feast day, or special day upon which it is supposed to end.

Brian - the other blogger here, and I have decided to say this Novena for a couple reasons. First, as we are new fathers, this will be the first St. Joseph's day that we celebrate as father's. Second, we are trying to discern our vocation as lawyers in terms of the areas we would like to practice in, the location, and whether we as friends are supposed to live and work in the same community together with our families.

I would ask that you pray for us, and if you too are searching for work, direction as a father or husband, or just in need of some extra prayer on your behalf - I would ask that you pray it with us.

Here is a link to the EWTN.com version of the Novena:
St. Joseph - Novena - ETWN

Here is Day 1 of that Novena to help you get started:

Day One

FOSTER-FATHER OF JESUS

Saint Joseph, you were privileged to share in the mystery of the Incarnation as the foster-father of Jesus. Mary alone was directly connected with the fulfillment of the mystery, in that she gave her consent to Christ's conception and allowed the Holy Spirit to form the sacred humanity of Jesus from her blood. You had a part in this mystery in an indirect manner, by fulfilling the condition necessary for the Incarnation -- the protection of Mary's virginity before and during your married life with her. You made the virginal marriage possible, and this was a part of God's plan, foreseen, willed, and decreed from all eternity.

In a more direct manner you shared in the support, upbringing, and protection of the Divine Child as His foster-father. For this purpose the Heavenly Father gave you a genuine heart of a father -- a heart full of love and self-sacrifice. With the toil of your hands you were obliged to offer protection to the Divine Child, to procure for Him food, clothing, and a home. You were truly the saint of the holy childhood of Jesus -- the living created providence which watched over the Christ-Child.

When Herod sought the Child to put Him to death, the Heavenly Father sent an angel but only as a messenger, giving orders for the flight; the rest He left entirely in your hands. It was that fatherly love which was the only refuge that received and protected the Divine Child. Your fatherly love carried Him through the desert into Egypt until all enemies were removed. Then on your arms the Child returned to Nazareth to be nourished and provided for during many years by the labor of your hands. Whatever a human son owes to a human father for all the benefits of his up-bringing and support, Jesus owed to you, because you were to Him a foster-father, teacher, and protector.

You served the Divine Child with a singular love. God gave you a heart filled with heavenly, supernatural love -- a love far deeper and more powerful than any natural father's love could be.

You served the Divine Child with great unselfishness, without any regard to self-interest, but not without sacrifices. You did not toil for yourself, but you seemed to be an instrument intended for the benefit of others, to be put aside as soon as it had done its word, for you disappeared from the scene once the childhood of Jesus had passed.

You were the shadow of the Heavenly Father not only as the earthly representative of the authority of the Father, but also by means of your fatherhood -- which only appeared to be natural -- you were to hide for a while the divinity of Jesus. What a wonderfully sublime and divine vocation was yours -- the loving Child which you carried in your arms, and loved and served so faithfully, had God in Heaven as Father and was Himself God!

Yours is a very special rank among the saints of the Kingdom of God, because you were so much a part of the very life of the Word of God made Man. In your house at Nazareth and under your care the redemption of mankind was prepared. What you accomplished, you did for us. You are not only a powerful and great saint in the Kingdom of God, but a benefactor of the whole of Christendom and mankind. Your rank in the Kingdom of God, surpassing far in dignity and honor of all the angels, deserves our very special veneration, love, and gratitude.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of having been chosen by God to be the foster-father of His Divine Son. As a token of your own gratitude to God for this your greatest privilege, obtain for me the grace of a very devoted love for Jesus Christ, my God and my Savior. Help me to serve Him with some of the self-sacrificing love and devotion which you had while on this earth with Him. Grant that through your intercession with Jesus, your foster-Son, I may reach the degree of holiness God has destined for me, and save my soul. (*Say Novena Prayer following Daily Meditation)

*NOVENA PRAYER
*(prayer to be said at the end of each day's devotion)

Saint Joseph, I, your unworthy child, greet you. You are the faithful protector and intercessor of all who love and venerate you. You know that I have special confidence in you and that, after Jesus and Mary, I place all my hope of salvation in you, for you are especially powerful with God and will never abandon your faithful servants. Therefore I humbly invoke you and commend myself, with all who are dear to me and all that belong to me, to your intercession. I beg of you, by your love for Jesus and Mary, not to abandon me during life and to assist me at the hour of my death.

Glorious Saint Joseph, spouse of the Immaculate Virgin, obtain for me a pure, humble, charitable mind, and perfect resignation to the divine Will. Be my guide, my father, and my model through life that I may merit to die as you did in the arms of Jesus and Mary.

Loving Saint Joseph, faithful follower of Jesus Christ, I raise my heart to you to implore your powerful intercession in obtaining from the Divine Heart of Jesus all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare, particularly the grace of a happy death, and the special grace I now implore:

(Mention your request).

Guardian of the Word Incarnate, I feel confident that your prayers in my behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God. Amen.

MEMORARE
Remember, most pure spouse of Mary, ever Virgin, my loving protector, Saint Joseph, that no one ever had recourse to your protection or asked for your aid without obtaining relief. Confiding, therefore, in your goodness, I come before you and humbly implore you. Despise not my petitions, foster-father of the Redeemer, but graciously receive them. Amen.

-Posted by: Joe