Change and how we feel

Why is it that we change? And how do we feel about it? And how does change stick?

My business is to change people, including myself. As a change agent, one is always interested to know more about why people change. No, not that really, but rather, how do we get people to change. And stay changed.

One idea is that you discuss things rationally, and if the reason says 'yes' then the person will change. Now, this is obviously a very simplistic idea of what people are about. Simple is good sometimes, but I find this simple idea, much as I sometimes want it to be true, is just wrong. Almost always. Even those who say they are rational are not. For example.

So, spending all your time appealing to the reason is probably not the best idea. (This is not to suggest you propose ideas that are not reasonable.) It may be that if something else in the person wishes already to say yes, then the reason may slow him down, maybe even turn the answer to a 'no'. But the reason is not where real change comes from. Or such is my current theory for virtually everyone.

My god, I lift my eyes up unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. I am lost in this wilderness of change. How will I be found?

Yes, change will happen, despite what anyone wants or says. So, if you are a change agent, one must wait for the wave of change to arise and ride and even direct it as best one can.

So, how might we direct it?

Well, if a person can see an attractor, or a higher attractor, in the change that you are proposing (versus other options), she is more likely to move toward the change you propose.

We also know that most people resist moving from the 'comfort' that they know, so often she needs a reason to leave the current comfort. Often despite the fact that she feels that current 'comfort' as painful sometimes or even often. 'The devil one knows is better than the devil one doesn't know.' So, one thing a change agent can do is enable higher perception of the pain of the current situation.

These are simple ideas, yes. Ones you probably know. But it is the simplest ideas that are the hardest to execute on. Over and over and over and over again. As Churchill said: "Never, never, never, never give in." And he did not.

Now, making this pleasure-pain idea richer does not require a return to the hedonists of Greek philosophy. What people feel as pleasure and pain (in this context) has many dimensions or attributes. Not just the five senses. Not just ego. Not just Maslow's hierarchy of needs, etc, etc.

Deploying this pleasure-pain idea to help people change is, on one view, quite simple, and on another, quite sophisticated. In life, most of us are like 4 year olds being utterly manipulated (for own benefit) by our mothers. You must become that mother. That good mother who does not always explain all. The focus is upon the lollipop as we go to the doctor's office (not that needle).

How do we sustain the change?

Well, from economics (the dismal science) we know of a thing called buyers remorse. We know that very often people buy 'agile' not because they want it, or because of agile itself, but because they invest it with all the attributes of things they do want. They make it more than anything can be. And then later they feel disappointed.

Like the lotus-eaters in the Odyssey, we want to eat the leaf to stay in a state of pleasure, indolent and unaware of the truth. Well, at least part of us wants to do, a lot of the time.

But later we reject this, feeling a buyers remorse, since we maybe bought the wrong thing (or, agile turns out to be different than the fantasy we wanted it to be). And Scrum can certainly show lots of painful bits. But it is not Scrum that is painful; Scrum just allows us to see the painful bits more clearly, will not let us avoid seeing them.

So how to sustain the change?

First, we must expect it to be somewhat hard. We must set reasonable expectations, as they say.

And we must put again and again the focus on the real lollipop. On the many many many good things that Scrum also gives us.

There are many good things. Let me focus on one now. Improved velocity, velocity based on story points completed per Sprint.

If you were Michael Phelps, and you had no measurement, and your coach asked you to get better again today, what would you say? You would likely say "Coach, I am already better than everyone in this pool here in South Carolina the last 3 weeks. I can't get any better. I need time off to go smoke some weed!" But you as a coach know that, yes, the body needs some pleasures, but the soul in the longer term will take more satisfaction by achieving a great goal, but showing others that despite having many faults (and Michael Phelps, like the rest of us, has many faults and weaknesses), despite all that one can achieve great great things.

And fortunately, that coach has a way of clearly measuring success and clearly measuring improvement. And clearly measuring the improvement of the competitors.

And we have this in Scrum too. For the Team, it is velocity measured in story points. Without that, the Team says: "Well, I think we have improved a lot. And we always have impediments. Let's not do a retrospective, let's not take time to remove impediments, let's just chip away at the real work and try to make the deadline." (And let's make sure we are not held accountable.)

But really, while so many times velocity is the cross upon which the Team will be crucified, it is in fact the glory of the Team. It shows how much they have improved. It gives them the pride to know they are hyperproductive (if they are, and they all can be...well, virtually all, by their own standard).

We need the numbers to have the emotion. Odd, but true. Or so I think and feel.

Change

Taylor Swift just won the Grammy for, I think, album of the year. And I think a few other Grammies.

Taylor Swift has a song out called Change. Maybe "old" now by music industry standards.

See here: http://bit.ly/9Bos9y

In 1988 there was a movie with Uma Thurman called Dangerous Liasons. OK, Uma Thurman was not the only good actor in the show (but I am a man, perhaps I forgot). Oh, yes, they had Glenn Close and John Malkovich also. And some kid named Keanu Reeves. And, oh yes, Michelle Pfeiffer. The show was based on the fairly famous French novel. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangerous_Liaisons

One famous line in that show was: "It's beyond my control."

I have been in a few companies recently where the fundamental feeling is hopelessness and helplessness. "It is beyond my control."

As soon as we say it that way, any six-year old will say "This is clearly not a way to live. " There is not much more to say about it than: "If you can't change your organization, then you must change your organization." ie, get out even in the midst of a recession.

Perhaps it is also useful to remember: "Everything changes, nothing remains the same." A recent idea from the Buddha, only 2,000+ years old. This is to say, we, as individuals, don't make the real waves in the world, but we can ride the waves. And in small groups even, we must remember that people will change. They only really resist being changed. They want their freedom.

So, stop feeling helpless and hopeless. (We all do sometimes.) [If it seemed a missed a few steps in the logic there, I trust you can add them.]

So, where does this stupid kid, Taylor Swift, come in?

Well, her song starts this way:

And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you're getting sick of it

Certainly I have felt kind of this way when I felt helpless.

And then she asks you to imagine that things just might change.
And she offers to help you (ok, the idea that Taylor Swift personally will actually help is a silly teenage fantasy, but the idea of us helping each other in agile is quite quite real).

And she asks you to imagine, afterward, that you accomplished something you didn't really think was possible. And how proud you will be then that you never, never, never, never gave up. (OK, I added a bit of Churchill there.)

I dare you to listen to the song.

There are no doubt a few stupid ideas being spoken of by agile people. But the body of ideas is a great set.

Agile is here not to make some minor improvement. It can be a big change in, well, even your life. It can enable you to make big changes in the lives of people you really care about. If you have started, don't stop. Strap on your armour again. And fight. With a smile.

Hold the mirror

How do we get managers to change? (You know, if it were not for them, everything would be just fine.)

We got this question in a class on Friday.

My immediate answer, maybe an intuition, was to quote part of this:
"...the purpose of playing, whose
end, both at the first and now,
was and is, to hold as 'twere
the mirror up to nature:
to show virtue her feature,
scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time his form and pressure."

These are part of Hamlet's instructions to the players. Before they perform. "The play's the thing wherein we'll catch the conscience of the king." For the fuller instructions, see here: http://bit.ly/17DEOL

So, like the little boy in the old story, it will become clear that the emperor has no clothes. And the foolishness will be clear to all.

ScrumMasters, just hold up the mirror. Make it transparent.

We will say, in passing, that Scrum is a drama in real life.

Now we come to the Man in the Mirror. And these days, many of you will immediately recognize a reference to a Michael Jackson song. I personally am not the biggest fan, but one must say "in form and moving how express and admirable!" And so many wonderful songs. Such great dancing. And such fun in his performances.

So, these lyrics:
"I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways"

Less poetically, "I am starting with myself."

See here: http://bit.ly/pcXcE And a video here: http://bit.ly/oGyDC (The song is wonderful; the video is somewhat over the top, but one can feel the yearning of the people to be free. Such yearnings also have been used by the dark forces.)

By your own actions, you can show them. And, despite some things, their better angels will often lead them to follow you. Not because you became their boss, but because you are right, and you carry the truth. The truth is not yours, but you carry it for awhile. And with that illuminating power (again, not your own), the darkness fades away.

And we thought business was all about facts, and money, and power, and share prices. No: it starts with getting people to stop being stupid (which we always are, part of the time).

For a more common-sense way of expressing the same thing, read Taiichi Ohno. For example.

If you feel, now, within your heart a sense of urgency, go and make one small change. Today, or maybe tomorrow. Love is less that drug emotion than the work of days and hands.

***
PS. The early phrase -- that the managers are to blame for everything -- was said with irony. They are people, just as we are.

The great persuader is....you

Last night I was speaking to the Metrolina PMI chapter. Good discussion; lots of interest in Agile. My topic was: Winning With Scrum.

So, on that quickly. My experience and my hypothesis (still not disproved...per the scientific method ), is that Scrum can be more fun and can enable your team(s) to be much more productive. It is designed to allow you to be 5x to 10x more productive that you were. And, on average, 5x-10x more than average. (Yes, logically, if you were already well above average, for whatever reason, the bang might not be that great.)

At the same time, I do not wish to infer that Scrum (or Agile) is a silver bullet or magic pill. It is hard work, painful in terms of change, to do well. Some people don't have the intestinal fortitude. And some people might be in one of the few "wrong" Myers-Briggs boxes to be comfortable using it.

So, we are in for a short, tough economic time.
Scrum can help you team and firm.
Scrum can preserve your career.
If you put your heart into doing it reasonably well.

Enough of that.

One person asked me: "Well, I'd like to do it, but who is going to persuade my boss and my comrades and my company to let me do it?"

The short answer is: You.

Yes, I know this can be tough. Yes, even if you are very good, sometimes you will not succeed.

But usually, where there's a will, there's a way. (It's a cliche because it is usually true.) And nobody else is as well positioned.

A couple of things:
* It is not one conversation, but a series of conversations.
* The influencing does not have to come out of your mouth or even be thought of as (all) coming from you. But you have to organize it and energize it.
* It is not just facts, it's emotion also (yours and his). The most effective emotion is often "quiet" emotion. The other guy gets a sense that you really are determined to make this happen; it gives him confidence that you *will* make this happen. (Often a "him"; your situation may vary of course.)
* Stay yourself. People will not believe professional salesmen. But if you are true to yourself, they will believe you.

Welcome to the most important business skill you will ever develop. Getting someone to buy-in to your good ideas.

Two suggestions:
A Sense of Urgency by John Kotter.
Fearless Change by Manns and Rising.

Go get 'em.