Blast from the past
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On May 19th, I made a post about my faith, and its direction. I entitled it "He must increase, I must decrease." For a while I felt like I was living that verse. Then recently, due to the fact that I have been striking out in the job search, and with a still yet uncertain future in terms of where we will be living and working in a month, I have foolishly grabbed the "reins" back from God, and started focusing on how I can figure this situation out. How I can do more "stuff" to help secure my direction, and find my path. What I can do to find a job, create opportunities, and determine my future. What I haven't done is listen to my own advice.
One follows from the other
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I thought that if I just increased the God part in my life, that I wouldn't really have to do the whole decrease thing. I figured that I could tag-team the piloting of my life with God, that way, I could grab the controls incase He let go. Foolish.
What I didn't realize until tonight is that opportunities can only come when nothing is blocking their path. A friend of mine has been searching for his "career" path since graduation. This person is way more qualified for jobs than I am, and he has been waiting faithfully for a year. He has filled his time and efforts with smaller projects here and there, just to survive, and here I am panicking because I haven't secured anything in the few months since I have been actively looking.
We know how this ends
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Saints, true followers of the above-mentioned Bible verse, end up in positions they wouldn't have picked for themselves... but their lives, and deaths, are vital to the advancement of the Heavenly Kingdom and the strength of the Ecclesia Militans. Their courage, their acceptance of God's will, their Marian fiat of: "Yes" gives them strength over death... and despair. They acceptance of earthly defeat is simultaneously they acceptance of victory:
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